A Parent’s Guide to Swearing: What to Do When Your Child Picks Up a Rude Word

It’s a moment many parents dread—your toddler suddenly drops a swear word, maybe loudly and in public. You freeze. Do you ignore it? Laugh? Tell them off?

While it’s common for little ones to experiment with language (including the bad bits), how you respond can shape their understanding of what’s acceptable.

To help we’ve outlined why a child might pick up a swear word, how to best handle it in the moment and what to do going forward.

So, let’s dive straight into our Parent’s Guide to Swearing!

Why Do Young Children Swear?

Children under five are little language sponges. They soak up everything they hear, often without understanding meaning or context.

A swear word might sound funny, get a strong reaction, or be repeated from older siblings, TV, or even overheard conversations. For them, it's just another new word—until they learn otherwise.

First Things First: Don’t Overreact

Your first instinct might be to gasp, scold or even laugh. But strong reactions can be unintentionally rewarding.

If a child sees you laugh or shout, it tells them this word is powerful. Try to respond calmly and neutrally—even if you’re mortified inside.

Talk About Language in an Age-Appropriate Way

Toddlers can understand that some words are ‘not kind’ or ‘not for little ones to use’. You might say:

"That’s not a word we use at nursery or home. Let’s use kind words instead”.

You don’t need to go into detail—just set clear, simple boundaries. Remember to keep the boundary age appropriate (phrased in a way your little one understands).

Model Positive Language

Children copy what they hear. If adults around them use swear words, they’ll likely repeat them.

Try swapping out common swear words for silly alternatives—many families invent their own! “Oh biscuits!” or “Fudge nuggets!” keeps it light and teaches emotional expression without hurtful language.

Reinforce When They Use Kind Words

Praise your child when they express big feelings with safe, respectful words:

“I love how you told me you were angry using your words. That’s really grown-up!”

If They’re Swearing for Attention

Ignore the word, and shift focus to something else. Children under five quickly learn what gets a big reaction. If it doesn’t work, they’ll likely drop it.

When It’s a Phase… or Something More

Most swearing in early childhood is harmless imitation and short-lived. But if it becomes frequent or aggressive, check in on what your child might be seeing, hearing, or feeling.

Is there frustration, stress, or something in their environment that’s influencing them? Speak to your key person or nursery manager if you’re concerned.

Final Thoughts

Swearing in young children is a normal part of language development. The key is to stay calm, be consistent, and model the kind of communication you want to see.

Over time, your little one will learn that kind, respectful words get the best results—and the best attention!

Additional Resources

Nursery World - When children swear

Teach Early Years - Responding to bad language

Day Nurseries - Swearing, nursery tackle growing problem