.png)
Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling: A Parent's Guide
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Preparing for a new baby is an exciting time for the whole family, but for an older child, it can also bring a big change. They may be excited about becoming a big brother or sister while also feeling uncertain about what having a new baby will mean for them.
It is completely normal for children to experience a mixture of emotions. They may feel proud and excited one moment and jealous, worried or clingy the next. With some preparation before the baby arrives and plenty of reassurance afterwards, you can help your little one feel secure and involved as your family grows.
Preparing your child for a new sibling
Talking to your child about the new baby can help them understand what is happening and give them opportunities to ask questions. Keep conversations simple and age-appropriate, and remember that they may not fully understand what having a baby in the family will actually be like.
Reading books about becoming a brother or sister can be a useful way to introduce the idea. Afterwards, talk about the characters and how they might be feeling. This can also give your child a way to express their own thoughts and questions.
Get them involved
Small ways of involving your child in preparations can help them feel included in this big family change.
Depending on their age, you could:
Let them help choose a toy, book or blanket for the baby.
Ask for their opinion when choosing nursery decorations.
Help them create a drawing or card for the baby.
Talk about possible names together, even if you have already made your decision.
Let them help prepare things the baby will need.
The aim isn't to make your child responsible for the baby, but to help them feel that they have an important place in this new chapter of family life.
At the same time, reassure them that they are just as loved and important as they have always been. Try not to focus too heavily on how much fun it will be to have a sibling, as this can create expectations that may not match their experience once the baby arrives.
Prepare them for changes to their routine
A new baby can mean changes to family routines, sleeping arrangements and childcare. If you know that something will need to change, try to introduce it well before the baby arrives.
For example, if your child needs to move into a different bedroom or change their bedtime routine, making this change a few months before the birth can help avoid too many changes happening at once.
It can also help to talk about what will stay the same. Reassure your child that they will still go to nursery, have their usual bedtime routine and enjoy their favourite activities.
Talk about what happens when the baby arrives
Your child may also be curious about what will happen when you go into labour.
Explain who will look after them, where they will stay and when they will see you again. You could prepare an overnight bag together and let them choose a few familiar items to take with them.
Keeping the explanation simple and reassuring can help make the experience feel more predictable.
How might your child respond?
Every child will respond differently to becoming a sibling. Some children may be very excited, while others may take longer to adjust.
You might notice:
Increased clinginess or wanting more attention.
Tantrums or changes in behaviour.
Changes in sleep or toileting.
Wanting to be treated like a baby again.
Jealousy towards the new baby.
Becoming more demanding or emotional.
Showing a mixture of excitement and difficult feelings.
These behaviours don't mean your child doesn't love their new sibling. Young children don't always have the words to explain complicated emotions, so their feelings may come through in their behaviour instead.
Try to respond with patience and reassurance. Rather than telling your child not to feel jealous or upset, acknowledge what they are experiencing. Let them know that it is okay to have big or mixed feelings and remind them that you are there to support them.
After the baby arrives
Once the baby is home, life is likely to feel busier. Making time for your older child can help them feel secure and reassured that their place in the family hasn't changed.
Keep some things the same
Where possible, maintain familiar routines around nursery, meals, bedtime and other activities. Familiarity can provide a sense of security while everything else feels different.
Make time for one-to-one attention
You don't need to plan elaborate activities. A story before bed, a short walk together or simply talking about their day can give your child valuable time with you.
Try to make some conversations about them, rather than always talking about the baby. Ask about what they did at nursery, what they enjoyed playing with or what they would like to do at the weekend.
Include them, but don't put pressure on them
Your child may enjoy helping with small tasks, such as choosing a book to read to the baby or bringing over a nappy. Let them participate when they want to, but don't expect them to constantly help.
It is also important that they know they don't have to share every toy or give up everything for the baby.
Notice the positive moments
Give your child attention when they are being kind, patient or affectionate towards the baby, but don't make their relationship with the baby the only way they receive praise.
Continue to celebrate their own interests, achievements and personality. They are still learning and growing too.
A new sibling is a big transition
Becoming a brother or sister is a significant change in a young child's life. There may be excitement, difficult moments and everything in between.
The goal isn't to prevent jealousy or other challenging emotions. Instead, focus on helping your child understand their feelings, feel secure in their relationship with you and know that there is still a special place for them within the family.
With time, consistency and reassurance, most children gradually adjust to their new family dynamic and begin to develop their own relationship with their sibling.
Additional Resources
